Do you like Kentucky?

At about 10 o’clock on Saturday morning, my new Japanese friends, Shiho and Ichan, picked Luke and me up for our shopping excursion to Kagoshima. Shiho drives a white Toyota 4Runner with a spoiler – an unusual addition to an SUV, I thought, until we got on the expressway and Shiho proved, at high speed, why she probably needs such an accessory.

Anyhow, we drove about an hour and half, making chitchat, via Luke. I asked them what they were shopping for – Shiho, a watch, and Ichan, new clothes. We also talked a little about music and work, all the while learning new words in each other’s languages.

When we go to Kagoshima, we made our way to a big mall connected to the station. And thus, six hours of shopping commenced.

The malls here are interesting in that, the stores aren’t really defined. Everything is in kind of an open space with vague partitions. It all sort of runs together. This mall, according to the girls was pretty good, but we would be going somewhere later for a better clothing selection – I could only hope.

Admittedly, I was not inspired to buy much, clothing-wise, at this mall. You see, the apparel here . . . how can I say this? Sucks? And I say this objectively. I think that empirically, anyone would find that when material, quality and style are all factored in, clothing in Japan leaves a lot to be desired. Not to mention that it’s expensive. Even if I had found something I sort of liked, I probably wouldn’t have made a purchase, because I could find something more my style at home, for a lot less.

So, I held out for mall number two. In the meantime, I did find a good Engrish t-shirt and actually almost bought a winter hat, deterred only by the fact that it was real fur and real pricey.

Sometime near the end of our stint at mall number one, Ichan approached me, and in her best English, asked, “Do you like Kentucky?”

“What?” I said, thinking, does she mean the state. And then quickly concluding that there’s no way she knows what Kentucky is, much less enough about it to inquire after my opinion.

She asked again as Luke came over, switching to Japanese so he could translate. Turns out she was asking me if I liked Kentucky Fried Chicken. I don’t, but I said I did, because it is too hard to say, “no,” in this culture.

And that is how I found myself eating lunch at KFC in Kagoshima, Japan. It wasn’t too bad, actually. But the portions were significantly smaller than in America. And as my teeny, tiny Japanese friends struggled to consume their bite-size sandwiches and small order of fries, I was begging Luke to go up and order more for me. In the end, I resorted to finishing Ichan’s fries.

After lunch we made our way to mall number two, where the supposedly better selection of clothes was waiting. That is, a better selection, if you spend most evenings lurking on dark street corners. And, I don’t say that to be mean at all. My Japanese friends are totally charming and adorable – not at all slutty. I guess they just pull off the style.

Needless to say I didn’t find anything here, though Shiho desperately tried to get my foot crammed into a pair of sparkly, emerald stilettos – bless her heart (they really wanted me to find something cool, I think).

The highlight of the day definitely came when Luke and I saw a very pregnant woman contemplating the purchase of a shirt that, in no uncertain terms, declared the wearer was a fellatio fanatic. It was pretty unbelievable.

About five or six hours passed before we called it a day. And a day it was. Luke, unaccustomed to shopping, was totally wiped. As was I. For Shiho and Ichan, it seemed par for the course. They were totally unfazed by that many hours spent browsing racks of the latest styles.

On the way home, we listened to Destiny’s Child’s greatest hits, and chatted a little more, but I think we were all tired of trying to communicate in another language. So, they gabbed in the front seat about who knows what, while Luke and I contemplated the repercussions of Barry Bonds’ upcoming home run.